he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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