I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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