I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
