Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Porn is love you can see.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
