Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
please come you make the beer taste better
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
