We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
