We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I did not marry a roomba.
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