shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
