beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
