Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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