Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
