i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she peed on how many people?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
