dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
