It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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