So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
