im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
