I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just pee around me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize