Whod you bang
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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