you guys were way drunker than both of me
This girl is more easily done than said...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
