i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
