I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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