I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
