I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
