Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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