Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
