I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
