where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
