if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
