I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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