I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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