It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
