the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
