I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
