the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
