so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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