I just cut my nipple shaving
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
