oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
