Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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