1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
