i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
