dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
