never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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