Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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