I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
