Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
