i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
