K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
