You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
