Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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