She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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